One of the most tedious features of modern life is the proliferation of public seats in Beauty Spots, with sentimental little brass plaques ('He loved this place'). I have made it clear to my family that I utterly forbid such a waste of money to commemorate myself. But, out walking the other day, a formula which could be used on such a seat occurred to me.
IN MEMORY OF THE REVD JOHN WILLIAM HUNWICKE MA Oxon
HE WAS A SPLENETIC MISANTHROPE
WHO LOATHED NATURE* AND DETESTED THE ENVIRONMENT*
DO NOT SIT HERE
___________________________________________________________________________
*I'll gloss these terms in a later post.
2 October 2014
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8 comments:
The only good I can think of for them would be to ask those who sit on the seat to pray for the deceased.
Far better to found a chantry so that Masses can be said, but is that still possible? The risk of the State conniving in diverting the funds into a more "approved" end must be high.
Worthy of Evelyn Waugh, Father!
Father,
please, abstain from unclear terminology and use a classicial language of the Catholica (oh, sorry, I forgot that Ordinary English now also has became a classical catholic language)
Father,
please, abstain from unclear terminology and use a classicial language of the Catholica (oh, sorry, I forgot that Ordinary English now also has became a classical catholic language)
I would imagine Father that a seat with such a plaque wouldn't last five minutes before it was destroyed by Eco warriors.
Why not paraphrase Hilaire Belloc
"When I am dead, let it be said
His sins may have been scarlet
But his blog posts were read"
However, ad multos annos, Pater
I must say that I do not like the pantheism implicit in most such dedications. However, I had a very dear friend, who has no proper final resting place. A bench in a botanical garden in his home town is his only memorial. So instead of going to the cemetery to pray for him, I go there.
Extending "get off my lawn, you punks" into the after-life. I like it.
Well, Father, that one made me howl with laughter! Long may you wave!
Jim of Olym
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