2 October 2014

When I'm dead ...

One of the most tedious features of modern life is the proliferation of public seats in Beauty Spots, with sentimental little brass plaques ('He loved this place'). I have made it clear to my family that I utterly forbid such a waste of money to commemorate myself. But, out walking the other day, a formula which could be used on such a seat occurred to me.

IN MEMORY OF THE REVD JOHN WILLIAM HUNWICKE MA Oxon
                     HE WAS A SPLENETIC MISANTHROPE
  WHO LOATHED NATURE* AND DETESTED THE ENVIRONMENT*
                              DO NOT SIT HERE


___________________________________________________________________________
*I'll gloss these terms in a later post.

8 comments:

RichardT said...

The only good I can think of for them would be to ask those who sit on the seat to pray for the deceased.

Far better to found a chantry so that Masses can be said, but is that still possible? The risk of the State conniving in diverting the funds into a more "approved" end must be high.

bedwere said...

Worthy of Evelyn Waugh, Father!

ansgerus said...

Father,

please, abstain from unclear terminology and use a classicial language of the Catholica (oh, sorry, I forgot that Ordinary English now also has became a classical catholic language)

ansgerus said...

Father,

please, abstain from unclear terminology and use a classicial language of the Catholica (oh, sorry, I forgot that Ordinary English now also has became a classical catholic language)

johnf said...

I would imagine Father that a seat with such a plaque wouldn't last five minutes before it was destroyed by Eco warriors.

Why not paraphrase Hilaire Belloc

"When I am dead, let it be said
His sins may have been scarlet
But his blog posts were read"

However, ad multos annos, Pater

Eques said...

I must say that I do not like the pantheism implicit in most such dedications. However, I had a very dear friend, who has no proper final resting place. A bench in a botanical garden in his home town is his only memorial. So instead of going to the cemetery to pray for him, I go there.

John M├ędaille said...

Extending "get off my lawn, you punks" into the after-life. I like it.

Auriel Ragmon said...

Well, Father, that one made me howl with laughter! Long may you wave!

Jim of Olym