One of the most tedious features of modern life is the proliferation of public seats in Beauty Spots, with sentimental little brass plaques ('He loved this place'). I have made it clear to my family that I utterly forbid such a waste of money to commemorate myself. But, out walking the other day, a formula which could be used on such a seat occurred to me.
IN MEMORY OF THE REVD JOHN WILLIAM HUNWICKE MA Oxon
HE WAS A SPLENETIC MISANTHROPE
WHO LOATHED NATURE* AND DETESTED THE ENVIRONMENT*
DO NOT SIT HERE
*I'll gloss these terms in a later post.