13 May 2021

APOLOGIES ARE DUE ...

On April 14 I published this:

Apologies are due to the memory of Jane Austen. According to the Times (April 10), we can watch a TV programme about someone called Brandreth visiting "some of the places that inspired her". He actually "lays eyes on the very goblet from which young Jane would have taken communion". I think the fool-journalist who wrote this nonsense probably means 'communion cup' or 'chalice'.  And "he meets members of Austentatious, the Jane Austen-themed improvisational comedy troupe". Ha, and indeed (all together now) Ha.

Brandreth is clearly clairvoyant, because he pictures Austen "in the pews, thinking naughty thoughts." But, clearly, she did more than merely having naughty thoughts while at public worship, because, so the Times tells us, Brandreth "meets one of her direct descendants".

The illiterate who wrote this offensive drivel signs himself as Joe Clay.

UPDATE: Now (to be precise, on May 8) the Times has information from another of their in-house clowns (how many of these fools do they employ?). This one is called  James Jackson. 

He informs us that C Julius Caesar was assassinated in AD 44.

By my calculation, that should make Caesar something like 144 years old at his death. 

It is surprising the assassins felt they had to stick knives in him. You'd have thought that, at such an age, he'd have fallen down dead if someone had threatened him with a feather.

(h/t to my youngest daughter for spotting this.)

9 comments:

Simon Cotton said...

Easy mistake to make, confusing two colonies.

John Patrick said...

No apology needed Father, as it could just as well have happened this side of the Pacific, where the followers of American Margaret Sanger are sadly numerous.

Atticus said...

'Brandreth "meets one of [Austen's] direct descendants".'

Collateral damage?

John Vasc said...

Oh dear, poor journalist, two feet at least in mouth.
That and today's feast, remind me of something that happened a couple of decades ago, when I was at a rather innocent stage, and staying as a guest at a monastery (whose name and location is unimportant). After Mass had finished, the Prior was kindly engaging me in a brief conversation, when an elderly monk strode up and angrily buttonholed him, wanting to know 'how it came about that poor Justin was treated so abominably!'
(As I had not properly realized until I thought about it later, the Mass for a Confessor had been celebrated, rather than the Mass for a Martyr appropriate to St Justin.)
The Prior seemed quite taken aback by his brother's indignant vehemence, and just replied softly 'Oh, I think it was just a mistake, surely...?!' which greatly surprised me, as I thought the elderly monk was asking about what had caused poor Justin's holy martyrdom. So trying to pour oil on the troubled waters, I shrugged my shoulders and said blandly: 'Well, I suppose he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time...' Naturally, they both turned and looked at me with very puzzled expressions.

Still makes me giggle, whenever I recall the moment.

Gregory said...

Though I am in no sacerdotal role to impose anything, Father H., I suggest, by way of penance, you translate Lincoln's "Gettysburg Address" into Latin for us.

PM said...

The late Herbert McCabe OP of Oxford would recommend Jane Austen to students trying to understand Aristotelian and Thomistic ethics. He thought Austen's 'good sense' was a much better rendition of prudentia than the sadly diminished 'prudence' of modern English.

Josephus Muris Saliensis said...

If one googles these two literary fellows (as they see themselves), with the addition of "The Times" to their names, one is treated to a short biography and a photograph.

I don't think I had better say any more, it might be deemed inappropriate.

Art McCulloch said...

At least he was placed A.D. and not C.E.

Oliver Nicholson said...

You surely know the Power Point version of the Gettysburg Address:
https://norvig.com/Gettysburg/sld001.htm
You need to click through all the slides to get to the number of nations created under God in the past 87 years.