28 August 2022

Viva il Papa!

 As we continue in this fin de Papaute frenzy, I have a constructive proposal to make.

However a papacy ends, when a pontificate does end, I think the Cardinal Protodeacon should appear on the balcony and utter a formula beginning

Nuntio vobis gaudium magnum.

Caremus papa ... 

My idea goes further. Every time a subsequent vote takes place in the Sistine Chapel, the Protodeacon should stagger up to the balcony and announce the Gaudium Magnum. Not until he gets to the verb in the second line would the expectant mob know, each time, whether their Great Joy was based on the great gift of a wonderful new pontiff; or whether they were rejoicing because they were being spared, for a few more blessed hours, er ... 

9 comments:

Joshua said...

O that is truly brilliant.

I am reminded of a sci-fi novel I once glanced at: in the far future, alien biotechnology (a virus?) has permitted a form of immortality via regeneration à la Doctor Who; of course the corrupt, alien-infiltrated, villainous Catholic Church has seized power over all inhabited worlds, featuring an ever-reincarnated dictator Pope to be re-elected again and again without end – in the few pages I read before putting the book back on the shelf, the "nasty old man in a frock" had just risen again, but cunningly changed his regnal name, allowing the crowds a moment of too-revealing delight before he emerged redivivus to gloat over their misery and confusion. Luckily, such a vile caricature of the one true Church could never be permitted to come to pass...

coradcorloquitur said...

Oh, how true, dear Father. Your wit and wisdom are a good preparation for this morning's sure-to-be glorious Ordinariate Mass. May the holy English Martyrs of the Protestant Deformation intercede for us, for the future election of a holy Pontiff who will truly love fervently both his flock and Catholic Truth---at the cost of his life if necessary. Oremus pro Pontifice.

Michael Ortiz said...

Just for the record:

The Cardinal who announced Papa Ratzinger did it with STYLE.

Grant Milburn said...

Scary stuff, Joshua.

After reading the original post, I imagined a dictator Pope attempting to achieve an unblessed immortality by uploading his consciousness into a supercomputer, à la Arnim Zola.

Gallifreyan Time Lords, HYDRA scientists…what other dire scenarios for the Papacy can we imagine, based on popular culture?

PM said...

I once had an amusing account from an eye witness who was in St Peter's Square for the second conclave in 1978.

A big crowd was waiting, mostly Italian and carrying form guides with a list of names - needless to say, all Italian, on them.

When the Camerlengo announced 'Carolus', there were furrowed brows and exclamations of 'chi?' 'chi?'. There followed exclamations of 'un Polacco', 'un Polacco?', 'UN POLACCO!!!'.

If those Italians spluttering with outrage are still alive, they can take comfort that PF seems intent on expunging Italian even from the Novus Ordo at St Peter's and replacing it with - guess what? - Italian! That policy is, of course, pointless: for the 96%+ of the human race who do not speak Italian but who form the majority of those attending Mass and Vespers at St Peter's, it might as well be in Latin anyway.

william arthurs said...

@PM

Let's not forget that JP II was described by The Times (of London) as "the first non-Catholic pope for 450 years".

PM said...

My apologies: my previous post should, of course, have read 'expunging Latin'.

I notice Roche trying to sugar the pill of Traditionis Custodes by musing in a vague, hypothetical manner that there could be more Novus Ordo Masses in Latin. Very well: where (apart form Brompton Oratory) are they?

Joshua said...

A bit of searching turned up the author and title of the sci-fi novel to which I referred: Dan Simmons (b. 1948), Endymion (1996).

Mary Kay said...

Dear Fr. Hunwicke, this left me laughing so much that it will come to mind for days.
I am so sorry that I could not take you to a magnificent lunch in Gardone this past July, possibly one that you could not surpass. But you're more clever than I so I just have to say how much I hope for the opportunity next year. I probably don't understand half of what you say but I absolutely love that which I do.
God bless from Mrs. Jones, now in Texas.