31 December 2021

DE RE PISCARIA: Only for Classicists. A discussion in the Ashmolean. A Yorkshire Nanny and an infallible Pontiff.

cum beato papa benedicto xiv in museo ashmoleano colloquens haec hodie rogavi:

"sancte pater: omnes dum boni anhelitu cotidiano exspectamus elevationem arturi nostri in cardinalem, oritur quaestio quomodo eum paucis et parvis verbis nominemus. 'reverendissimus ac eminentissimus dominus arturus sanctae romanae ecclesiae cardinalis diaconus roche' bellissime sonat, necnon et almae nutrici eius summopere placebit; sed mihi admodum longius videtur, praesertim in bloggo meo tam laconico, tam presso, tam conciso, in quo verbum superfluum numquam inveniri potest.

"multa temptavi qualia sunt pisciculus eboracellus; pisciculus roseus; leuciscus  subrubens ... frustra: nam in catalogis linnaeanis et libellis aliorum doctorum de re piscaria scriptis nil certum inveni de hoc pisce quomodo exacte dignosceretur.

"sed fortasse hoc sufficiet: pisciculus purpuratus.

"hoc brevius etiam fiet si ita id breviare licebit: pp

"quid autem dicent docti? suetonianum illud fortasse iactabunt purissimum penem? si vero his verbis caesar divi filius octavianus quintum horatium flaccum quondam appellavit, quid ad rem? quid elegantius flacco; quid pisciculo nitidius?"

et pontifex doctissimus subridens benignissime annuit suoque magisterio infallibili suffultus dixit: 

"pp placet!"

11 comments:

Paul Hellyer said...

You said:-

"but perhaps this will suffice: a purple little fish.

"This will become even shorter if it will be possible to shorten it

"But what will the learned say? Perhaps the Suetonians will boast that the penis is the purest; but if by these words Caesar, the son of the late Octavian, once called the fifth Horatius Flaccus, what is the matter? What is more elegant than Flaccus? What is smoother than a small fish?"

and the most learned Pontiff, smiling most kindly, assented, and, supported by his infallible teaching, said:

"pp please!"

So you a learned priest uses his God given brains to write some rubbish about fishes and a penis?

Your job is to be an alter Christus. Or have you forgotten.
Why not use your brains for something more useful like Eccles or Mundabor.
You know that hardly anyone can understand Latin.
Think. Why did God make me a priest?
I hope you have a happy New Year.

Matthew F Kluk said...

Pope Benedict XIV spends his time in quiet, but thoughtful conversation on New Year's Eve!

Albert Ryle Kezel said...


Disertissime pater,
Ubinam Suetonius ille has voces p... p.. scripsit? Augustum ita Horatium (lepide?) vocasse videris dicere. Cur et ubi? Annum novum faustum felicemque!

Fr John Hunwicke said...

Dear Mr Hellyer

I'm afraid the gibberish you print bears little relationship to the Latin text I published. Have you used some "Translation Machine"? If so, I advise you not to so again. They are, among the literate, jokes.

I really do not think that you make yourself happy by reading a blog which you so dislike. In the hope of weaning you off it, I have decided not to enable your comments in future.

Very best wishes, and my prayers.

Voice from the roof top said...

Benedict XIV died on 3 May 1758. Benedict XVI is alive.

Fr John Hunwicke said...

Dear Mr Voice

I am aware of each of these facts. What are you trying to say?

Fr John Hunwicke said...

Dear Mr Kezel

In the De viris Illustribus, the De Poetis, the Vita Horatii.

Gael éigin said...

Is not "Roche" to be referred to the Irish/Norman French "rock", rather than "roach" (Rutilus rutilus)?

Voice from the roof top said...

Dear Fr. John Hunwicke,

I replied to Matthew F. Kluk who wrote “Pope Benedict XIV spends his time in quiet, but thoughtful conversation on New Year's Eve!”

William Wheatley said...

Fr. Hunwicke, thank you for using Latin, without translation. It makes me go back to my books and re-learn a little Latin, for which I am most grateful.

Jesse said...

Hoc cognomen imminutum mihi quoque admodum placet, nisi quod tu, pater, his in paginis easdem litteras ad presbyterum paroecialem significandum saepe scripsisti.

Quid per hoc "purissimum" intellegi voluit Augustus? Ironia fortasse locutus est, dicens per iocum libidinem ipsam Horatii "castissimam" esse, id quod nemo ex proprio verborum sensu acciperet. Sed "purus" (nisi fallor) idem quam "merus" vel "simplex" aliquando valet. Rationemne habemus opinari imperatorem Flaccum omnino virile in membro "subsistere" arbitratum esse? (Cf. Lumen Gentium, no. 8.)

Sunt nostro in tempore qui, similiter "alliterantes" (ut ita dicam), virum odiosum Anglice "a complete c***" appellare solent...