My dear Wormwood
I am sure you will not have forgotten the aftermath of the dreadful occasion when C S Lewis published a tranche of my letters to you ... perhaps three quarters of a century ago. There was no positive proof that you were the 'whistleblower', but, in the austere realities of Hell, so free of all infantile fetishes, the mere lack of evidence has never been regarded as an impediment to the most thorough, most exhaustive, most exquisitely satisfying punishment of a putative offender.
Now you have done it again. Or perhaps you haven't. Who cares? the documents now being published at http://www.screwtaperedivivus.co.uk provide the fullest possible pretext for the merciless torture of somebody, and, as your devoted Uncle, I am actively defending the priority of your expectations in this matter.
You yourself would, I know, in your (lamentably few) worse moments not wish to deprive me of the fullest enjoyment of the condign agonies that that must now be your ineluctable destiny in view of paragraph 86,092/a/51 of the Satanic Constitution Suppliciorum custodes.
I await the formal imposition upon you of the fullest, long-term infliction of unimaginable horror. I shall intercede, to the fullest extent of my avuncular capacity, to ensure that terms such as 'excruciating' fall infinitely short of the imminent and exciting realities.
Your ravenously affectionate and unremittingly attentive Uncle