You should never believe a word you hear from ex-Anglican clergy, or members of Ordinariates. They always get things wrong, or they only tell you half a story.
Take Dr Kirk's piece for April 1, rather naughtily breaking the embargoed news that I have been nominated to the titular See of Leptis Magna in partibus infidelium.
It's not that this is totally untrue. But it doesn't give the right reason. The suggestion is that this preferment is a reward for my much-appreciated personal services to the Roman Pontiff.
'Leptis Magna' is a real job. What it will involve is me being Coadjutor with Right of Succession to the See of Westminster.
Believe me, I did try to get out of it (Pam doesn't like living in big cities) by frankly explaining to the Nuncio my life-long plan which I have mentioned on this blog before: to hand over the red-brick building with the large minaret near Victoria Station, hitherto known as "Westminster Cathedral", to the Moslem Council of Great Britain, so that it can become their Grand London Mosque.
I thought that making this confession would lead to the immediate withdrawal of the offer. But the opposite happened. My bluff was called. Apparently PF, although not a regular reader of this blog, has noticed my plans for "Westminster Cathedral". And he is absolutely over the moon about them (he even talked about coming to Oxford to kiss my feet). That is why he decided to over-rule the Congregation for Bishops and to put me into Westminster, contrariis non obstantibus.
So ... Thank You, Holy Father! I will endeavour etc.etc..
I shall, of course, move my cathedra to the Brompton Oratory.
(I may have to be a bit of a New Broom at Brompton. I think it is high time the Novus Ordo was given the boost of being made a niche interest. So it will be confined to the S Joseph Chapel at 4.30 on the afternoons of the fourth Sundays in alternate months, exactly the sort of generous provision that has enabled the EF and the Ordinariate Rite to flourish in so many places.)