27 March 2014

Father Hunwicke's Spring Examination Paper

Question 1. "X told Y to do Z voluntarily". Using Formal Logic, vindicate the internal coherence of this statement. [Candidates may not use more than eleven sheets of A4, but must show all workings.]

Question 2. Compose, in the style of Plato, a Dialogue on Tapeinosis between Socrates, Prometheus, and Neo-Pelagius. [Credit will be given to candidates making reference to Pandora and her box.]

Question 3. Construct a treatise, as if written by a German Cardinal, demonstrating that, although Genocide is not, strictly speaking, acceptable in the current state of the Magisterium, it could nevertheless (given its abiding popularity in both the developed and developing worlds) be tolerated.

Question 4. Construct a treatise, as if written by an Anglo-Irish Cardinal, demonstrating that, although Genocide is not in accordance with the current state of the Magisterium, application of the principles elucidated by Newman in his Essay on Development might, in the future, make it doctrinally acceptable.

Question 5. Write a Petrarchian sonnet upon your emotional transports of delight when, on 13 March 2013, standing in S Peter's Square, you heard the words Buona sera; sono il vescovo di Roma. Have a nice day. [Candidates may not describe the physical charms of Beatrice.]

Question 6. "The excommunications incurred by the SSPX bishops were remitted by Benedict XVI, but they are still excommunicated schismatics". How, as a pastor, would you explain this fruitful and elegant paradox to a layperson without a doctorate in Canon Law?

FINAL QUESTION
Preamble.
It is the most open secret in English Catholic life that the high point of the social year is the Dinner which the Bishops annually give in Westminster to Catholic Clerical Bloggers. Their motive as wise pastors for doing this is to thank us, with immense enthusiasm and sincerity, for all our hard work; to encourage us to carry on; to facilitate dialogue; to help the Bishops to understand the Bloggers and vice versa; to enable us all to work reflectively together with great concord for the Kingdom; and, quite simply, as Bishops, to be alongside their clergy. It is a most unbuttoned occasion; the Bishops speak increasingly frankly as the Cardinal's Wine Butler and Footmen make us free of the extensive and well-stocked cellars beneath Archbishop's House. (You wouldn't believe what was actually said by ... But NO, my lips are sealed.) These vast cellars contain, as you have probably heard, entire ancient vintages, entire growths, which are passing their best and badly need drinking up; and the Bishops enormously value the help generously given by the Bloggers in doing this ... for example: I rather think the Challoner Port is beginning to fade just a little, just the teensy-weensiest bit ... and with five dozen bottles still left ... so ... umm ....

Question 7. Construct a menu, including wines (growths and vintages), which would be suitable for the next Bishops' and Bloggers' Dinner. [Candidates should assume a Dinner of at least six courses.]
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Afterword for non-native English speakers: the above contains passages of what in this strange country, so unlike any other, we call "Irony". This means that (for example) the section headed Preamble is entirely fantasy. I wish it were all literally true ... I suspect, in fact, that the foundations of Archbishop's House are not high enough above the Thames water-table for there to be any safe cellarage. I doubt whether Cardinal Nichols has Butlers and Footmen (although I think Cardinal Wiseman might have had one or two) ... and any port laid down by Bishop Challoner (for whose Beatification I say the traditional prayers after offering Mass, from his own Missal, at Milton Manor where he stayed) would have faded quite away at least a century and a half ago. But it's all a lovely thought. How do you comfort yourself in your own country?

9 comments:

Fr. Christopher George Phillips said...

Re: Question 5

Would the Tutor consider allowing the Spenserian form to be used? The Petrarchian form is not really within the comfort zone of this Candidate, and (after all) included in the question is the directive to "have a nice day." Allowing the use of the Spenserian form would assist greatly in accomplishing that.

Peregrinus Toronto said...


super flumina . . .

By the rivers of Westminster, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Oxford.
We hanged our words upon the winds in the midst thereof.
For there they that carried us away captive required of us a blog; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Oxford.
How shall we sing the LORD'S song in a strange land?

ansgerus said...

Important Notice

In order not to be abolished, all answers have to be elaborated strictly following the hermeneutic of continuity. In difficult cases apparent discontinuity is to be seen as continuity, as discontinuity of the magisterium would be a contradiction in itself.

Bernard Brandt said...

Fr. Hunwicke's Spring Examination, Question #7

Question 7. Construct a menu, including wines (growths and vintages), which would be suitable for the next Bishops' and Bloggers' Dinner. [Candidates should assume a Dinner of at least six courses.]

Candidate's Answer:

Menu:

Hors d'Oeuvres:
Marcona Almonds; Bodegas Dios Baco S.L. NV 20 Yr. Baco Imperial Amontillado1,2

Potage:
Potage Parmentier; Didier Dagueneau Pouilly Fume, 2006

Poisson:
Dover Sole à la Bonne Femme; Chardonnay, Chateau Montelena, 19733

Entrée
Lièvre à la Royale; Château Phélan-Ségur, 1996

Entr'acte:
Spiced Mango Sorbet; a flute of Krug Collection, 1928

Salade:
Truffes à la Brillat-Savarin 4; Corton Renardes, Grand Cru, 1993

Fromage:
soft Myzithra; Metaxa 5, 6

Dessert:
Gateau Napoleon; Tokaj Classic Tokaji Aszu 6 Puttonyos, 1999

Cafe:
Jamaican Blue Mountain; a splash of Appleton Estate 50 Year Old Limited Edition Rum 7

Footnotes (omitted from printed menu):
1) Guests are requested not to immure themselves with or in jests re Poe's, 'A Cask...')
2) After the wine is poured, but before the almonds are served, Fr. Hunwicke or some other worthy might propose the Loyal Toast.
3) Perhaps a bit long in the tooth by now, but worth it.
4) The recipe from Larousse Gastronomique, not the artesanal cheese.
5) For something Homeric
6) Château de Montifaud 50 Year for the more conventional
7) Guests are invited to make this dinner a feast of reason, not a Cena Trimalchionis

Bernard Brandt said...

Dear Fr. Hunwicke:

I have posted my "Candidate's Answer" to your FINAL QUESTION. It may be found at the following web address:

http://pauca_lux_ex_oriente.blogspot.com

Stephen said...

To start: Anchovies on saltines, sprinkled with the crust of dried Campari on the cap from a bottle long unopened but once at the beginning by a shaky hand.
To end: Pickles and prunes with pint of Pimms.
Not sure yet what would be in between.

Stephen said...

To start: Anchovies on saltines, sprinkled with the crust of dried Campari on the cap from a bottle long unopened but once at the beginning by a shaky hand.
To end: Pickles and prunes with pint of Pimms.
Not sure yet what would be in between.

GOR said...

I have been waiting for responses to this from your more erudite commenters Father but, alas, none have been forthcoming. Petrarchan sonnets...? Not being gifted by the poetic Muse, I never got beyond rhyming couplets as a youth. But, a question for you:

Have you been reading “A Modest Proposal” of late…?

Liam Ronan said...

Ah, Father, I'd written a series of brilliant responses straight-away but the cat leapt on the keyboard and deleted the document before I'd saved it!
In my diabetic dotage I cannot recollect a word of what I'd composed. I would be willing however to settle for a 5 course meal courtesy of your merciful largesse if you would be agreeable to dispensing with the first seven questions of your spring examination paper.
I will provide my own cutlery.